In an instant

I was taking a shower this morning and the phone rang. I didn't hear it. Saw the light blinking on the answering machine a half an hour later. It was my sister. She said to call her immediately because "something bad happened." I called. She didn't answer. I tried again and again and couldn't get through. Finally I reached her. She told me that my dear, sweet, darling, vivacious, young cousin was killed yesterday. In a car crash. I still can't believe it. No one has details. The internet is devoid of information. I could only ask if they were sure it was her. It really can't be true. I know this happens to people. To families. To friends. But it's never happened to me before. I'm in shock. There's nothing I can do. Nothing that will help anything in any event. We keep going on. I'll keep doing things. But she never will. I cannot believe that.