So... Well.... I was just wondering....
What is your preferred method for people asking you for favors? And what is the hardest thing you have ever had to ask for?
For me, I cannot stand it when people beat around the bush re. favors. Don't finesse me, don't impress me, don't ply me with goodies (well, at least not until I have actually done the favor for you) - just ask. Ask nicely, sure. But just ask. I am not going to be any more willing to do a favor for you after several lead up conversations than I would have been from the outset. Have respect for my time, though still respecting decorum, and just politely ask. No harm, no foul. No muss, no fuss. Mission accomplished. And any of a million other cliches.
I get to do a good deed. You get your favor. I don't feel used, or that overtures of false friendliness were made to me just for the sake of the favor. Let's keep it real folks.
As for the hardest thing I have ever had to ask for... that is hard because I do hate for asking for things, because, as above, if I have to ask, I believe in being straightforward and confronting the issue so to speak. And if there are two things in life that cause me the greatest consternation (and, surprise, anxiety!) it is confrontation and troubling/imposing on other people. Oh, and let's throw in possibly hurting their feelings in any way. I hate that too.
So, the hardest thing to ask for would, to this point, have been when I asked my ex-BF if he was happy, and to make changes so that I could be happy too. It was hard to ask not so much because of the imposition or the possibility of hurting his feelings. Actually, I think it was hard to ask for because I knew what the answer was. I had known it for four years, and only then had I finally gotten around to asking the question. And I knew, upon receiving what I asked for, that I would have to take it, and simply walk away. Forever.
For me, I cannot stand it when people beat around the bush re. favors. Don't finesse me, don't impress me, don't ply me with goodies (well, at least not until I have actually done the favor for you) - just ask. Ask nicely, sure. But just ask. I am not going to be any more willing to do a favor for you after several lead up conversations than I would have been from the outset. Have respect for my time, though still respecting decorum, and just politely ask. No harm, no foul. No muss, no fuss. Mission accomplished. And any of a million other cliches.
I get to do a good deed. You get your favor. I don't feel used, or that overtures of false friendliness were made to me just for the sake of the favor. Let's keep it real folks.
As for the hardest thing I have ever had to ask for... that is hard because I do hate for asking for things, because, as above, if I have to ask, I believe in being straightforward and confronting the issue so to speak. And if there are two things in life that cause me the greatest consternation (and, surprise, anxiety!) it is confrontation and troubling/imposing on other people. Oh, and let's throw in possibly hurting their feelings in any way. I hate that too.
So, the hardest thing to ask for would, to this point, have been when I asked my ex-BF if he was happy, and to make changes so that I could be happy too. It was hard to ask not so much because of the imposition or the possibility of hurting his feelings. Actually, I think it was hard to ask for because I knew what the answer was. I had known it for four years, and only then had I finally gotten around to asking the question. And I knew, upon receiving what I asked for, that I would have to take it, and simply walk away. Forever.
posted by CLC at
8:18 PM
1 Comments:
Two good questions. I too prefer the direct approach. You want something, just ask me. If you can't just ask me, then you probably don't know me well enough to be asking and you probably shouldn't.
To your second question, the hardest thing I've ever had to ask for - that's a tough one. Nothing comes to mind right now, although I'm sure I've asked for something before where I couldn't give something back in return. I'll have to get back to you on that.
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